Hello everyone. I’m Yuki.
I want to become a person who can express myself in English.
In this article, I will talk about my love experience.
Why did I write about my love experience?
Recently, I often discuss about love with my filipino English teacher.
Why humans get attracted to someone?
Why do humans fall in love?
What is true love?
Through our conversation with my filipino English teacher, I knew that.
Understanding love is important to look back on my experiences.
Because the experiences I had helps me understand love.
I had two girlfriends in my life until 23 years old.
I will introduce the second one.
How did I meet her ?
When I was 23 years old, I went to Cebu to study English and programing.
And I met her here in Cebu.
She is a filipina.
Just before going back to Japan, I got attracted to her day by day.
I couldn’t understand why I got attracted to her, because I had never talked with her much.
I thought many things whether to ignore my feeling or not.
Because I have to go back to Japan soon.
Finally I decided to send her a message.
Because I didn’t want to regret anymore.
When I was a high school student, I have an experience that I regretted too much by ignoring my feelings.
After sending message, we talked.
We feel attracted to each other only a few days and it feels like strange.
I couldn’t understand about what I feel.
But I just followed my feeling.
I confessed my feelings to her and we became a couple.
After that I went back to Japan.
But I had decided to come back to Cebu after 6 weeks.
So just 6 weeks, we started long-distance relationship.
When I was in Japan, we talked almost everyday with text message and video call.
And in Japan, I focused on thinking about how can I earn money without my time for my future.
Because I want to spend my time to the people who are special to me.
So I concentrated to write articles on my blog and do programming.
Without realizing, my feeling for her is starting go away.
When I noticed about it, I had been thinking why it happened too much.
And I asked her what is “LOVE” and she replied:
Love comes in different forms. It can be small, big or even invisible, It’s up to someone if they feel or not.
I thought how do I feel love.
Finally I noticed that love is hidden in obvious things.
Whether we feel love or not, it depends on how you are conscious of something naturally.
And I was happy just talking, thinking about her.
Because I appreciate something obviously.
Why did I break up?
When I came back to Cebu, she suddenly send me message that she decided to break up.
I was very CONFUSED ?!
After I arrived in Cebu, we talked.
She told me that she love me and she want me to concentrate in my job.
I thought she wanted my time profoundly but she couldn’t take my time because she want me to concentrate my job.
The conflict make her thinking over, make negative, and get exhausted too much.
I thought that.
I want to concentrate my job for my future and if it makes her exhausted, I thought I had better to break up.
That’s why I accepted her suggestion.
After that sometimes we talked through message.
But, one day, she send me message like, she will not bother me anymore, and don’t want to talk and see me more.
I got confuse again.
So I talked with her again.
She said we have language barrier and different cultures.
She tried to understand about it but it’s not easy for her.
And I couldn’t understand what she really feel completely.
Generally, Japanese don’t express about themselves.
Hide their emotions.
Filipinas seek to express love like words, actions and so on…
Actually, I didn’t express about myself enough.
Because I am not good at expressing myself and it is difficult for me to express myself exactly because my English skill isn’t enough.
I feel like I often used wrong words.
It gives her anxiety, thinking over and get exhausted.
Finally, I realized her mind never change and I felt she decided positively.
That’s why I decided to give up this relationship.
We BROKE UP completely.
What I have learned or changed
I learned many things through this relationship.
It MOTIVATES me to think about love more deeply.
I learned that to build good relationship, it is important to talk with each other about ourselves for example,
what happen in your past?
what are you thinking?
what do you want in your future?
Whatever we have like different languages different cultures.
And if I will get attracted to someone who can’t use Japanese language in the future, I would like to express my feeling towards her.
as what David Wilkerson says “LOVE” is not only something you FEEL, it is something you “DO”…